I have a hard time making friends.
When I was in college, I worked in a restaurant. I worked 5-6 days a week, mostly nights. And I worked every weekend. When I was 21 I didn’t like going out and drinking(even though I did and nothing good came from it). I started a full time job in April 2014.
Then I had Aden April 2015. I didn’t know anyone who had kids. And the 2-3 friends I did have, I gave very little to, or spent too much time complaining to them. I shared all these intimate details of my life with them, so much so that it exhausted them, never asking how they were doing or what was going on in their lives. It was unhealthy.
After Aden was born, I felt so attacked. I remember feeling like I was being judged. Or assuming so anyway. With an attitude, I would say things like “If I wanted to travel, babies are allowed on planes, so my life is not over.” But I think I knew deep down that my life had changed and it was just the beginning. Aden was only a baby. He just nursed, and napped. It was kind of easy. But instead of coming across as confident, I came across as arrogant. I felt like I was not being myself. But who was I? When I was alone, I didn’t even know who I was. I could not accept who I was, and had a hard time believing that God accepted me for who I was.
Yesterday’s sermon at Grace Marietta was by Justin Fry.
And he asked two questions, “Are we a blessing?” “Are our words and deeds good news?
And I thought, was I ever that to those 3 people? Am I that to my family? My parents? My sons? My co workers? How many people I did push away with that attitude? That “I’m better than you” “This isn’t hard for me” “I don’t need help.” attitude.
We can embody the way of Jesus. Live it by loving one another. We can connect with others without judgement. You can start off by making space to make others feel welcome. I don’t need to know someone’s most intimate details in order to be close. I used to think someone wasn’t a friend until I felt comfortable to share personal details with them. How many friendships never blossomed because of that?
I was listening to The Bible Project podcast and they said “If you want to have influence, you start at the bottom and start serving and meeting people’s needs like crazy.” and “We respond to the Gospel story by how we live our life story.” That is how we become blessings. No matter what is going on in our lives, seek God. Others will see this. I wonder do people wonder “how is she raising two kids all by herself?” Ben Stuart’s book Single Dating Engaged Married, he says, “When you have a source of life, you are a source of life.” I read that book in late December 2017, and thought wow I wish I could have read this in high school, but that sentence. It changed everything. The Armor of God makes all of this possible.
“Be strong in the Lord, and the strength of his might.” Ephesians 6:10