Dr Lewis

This was filmed in June 2018. Thank you Matt Seagle and Crossroads Church. This is My Testimony

Today I went to Dr Lewis for a routine exam. I had not seen him since November 2017. Rohan was a month old and I was doing my postpartum checkup.

Someone had shown him THE video. Even though I did not mention his name in the video. Small world, big God.

February 2017 I came here by accident. I needed an abortion clinic. But I was consoled by Dr Lewis and referred to a Beacon of Hope for a confirmation of pregnancy.

19 months later, and I have an 11 month old. I met Dr Lewis for a reason and he was so brave to counsel me the way he did. He literately told me to SEEK GOD. I lacked faith and courage. But all I needed was a tiny bit of HOPE and I believe God used that to redeem me.

Rohan would NOT be here today without Dr Lewis. He literately brought him into this world. Dr Lewis and his staff have blessed my tiny family.

Even on my hardest days, I can’t forget the wonderful love shown to me by God. It can be hard to accept when I don’t feel worthy, but Aden and Rohan are my reason to rejoice.


short work weeks feel longer


1. Witty friends.

2. Midweek. Always astounded at how much Douglass can discuss in an hour.

3. Laughter is delighted humility. @writercaroline

4. Proverbs 16:9

5. I got good news regarding our home search this morning.

Today I am grateful that someone else directs my steps and it’s not me. I would be lost without the constant guidance I find in His word. No matter how intimidating it’s been lately. I can REST because I realize I’m really not the one in control.

Thanks for reading.

God’s Goodness.

Am I loving enough? Am I giving enough? Am I getting anywhere? Am I even saved? Do I even matter? Does this even matter?

Those are the questions I ask myself. It’s so easy to look around and pick our lives apart. Focus on the bad. But my life is defined by God’s love not by my circumstances. Those are temporary and I trust that God is leading the way.

This is not the same thing as “At least you’re breathing” or “It could be worse” That’s complacency. And how many times has that actually comforted someone?

Philippians 4:12-13 In every circumstance, God strengthens.

“Focus on what is good. There will always be something to complain about but a follower of Jesus knows that all of life is a gift.” – The Bible Project

On that note, after the 4th of July, the rest of Summer FLIES by. It’ll be September before we know it. But it won’t get cooler until October here in Georgia. My favorite is the shorter days. I prefer driving in the dark.

Getting kind of sad. This time last year I was 6 months pregnant. Only like 3 people knew. Trying to focus on the good. Rohan turns 1 in 3 months! How crazy is that??? How do we even celebrate his life? How can I celebrate it everyday? Is it too soon to be looking forward to 2019?

Embody the Way of Jesus

I have a hard time making friends.

When I was in college, I worked in a restaurant. I worked 5-6 days a week, mostly nights. And I worked every weekend. When I was 21 I didn’t like going out and drinking(even though I did and nothing good came from it). I started a full time job in April 2014.

Then I had Aden April 2015. I didn’t know anyone who had kids. And the 2-3 friends I did have, I gave very little to, or spent too much time complaining to them. I shared all these intimate details of my life with them, so much so that it exhausted them, never asking how they were doing or what was going on in their lives. It was unhealthy.

After Aden was born, I felt so attacked. I remember feeling like I was being judged. Or assuming so anyway. With an attitude, I would say things like “If I wanted to travel, babies are allowed on planes, so my life is not over.” But I think I knew deep down that my life had changed and it was just the beginning. Aden was only a baby. He just nursed, and napped.  It was kind of easy. But instead of coming across as confident, I came across as arrogant. I felt like I was not being myself. But who was I? When I was alone, I didn’t even know who I was. I could not accept who I was, and had a hard time believing that God accepted me for who I was.

Yesterday’s sermon at Grace Marietta was by Justin Fry.

And he asked two questions, “Are we a blessing?” “Are our words and deeds good news?

And I thought, was I ever that to those 3 people? Am I that to my family? My parents? My sons? My co workers? How many people I did push away with that attitude? That “I’m better than you” “This isn’t hard for me” “I don’t need help.” attitude.

We can embody the way of Jesus. Live it by loving one another. We can connect with others without judgement. You can start off by making space to make others feel welcome. I don’t need to know someone’s most intimate details in order to be close. I used to think someone wasn’t a friend until I felt comfortable to share personal details with them. How many friendships never blossomed because of that?

I was listening to The Bible Project podcast and they said “If you want to have influence, you start at the bottom and start serving and meeting people’s needs like crazy.” and “We respond to the Gospel story by how we live our life story.” That is how we become blessings. No matter what is going on in our lives, seek God. Others will see this. I wonder do people wonder “how is she raising two kids all by herself?” Ben Stuart’s book Single Dating Engaged Married, he says, “When you have a source of life, you are a source of life.” I read that book in late December 2017, and thought wow I wish I could have read this in high school, but that sentence. It changed everything. The Armor of God makes all of this possible.

“Be strong in the Lord, and the strength of his might.” Ephesians 6:10